Sunday Message for November 26, 2023

RELATIONSHIPS

Let's start today with a little humor. I'm sure you have all heard of Zen Buddhism - But have you heard of Zen Judaism? Let me give you a few of their sayings:

Relinquishment will lead to calm and healing in your relationships. If that doesn't work, try small claims court.

Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain, though your blood and flesh dry up and wither away, yet shall you meditate and not stir until you have attained full Enlightenment. But, first, a little nosh.

Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or a life without problems. What would you talk about?

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

The Torah says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." The Buddha says there is no "self." So, maybe you are off the hook.

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

Do not let children play contact sports like football. These only lead to injuries and instill a violent, warlike nature. Encourage your child to play peaceful games, like "sports doctor."

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single "oy."

Okay, so that's the end of my goofiness for today. So let me ask you - Wouldn't you like to learn the secret of getting along harmoniously with all the people in your life? Well today we are talking about relationships. So listen very carefully, it may make your life a lot simpler.

We can react hostilely to each other as individuals, feud with each other as families, and battle each other as nations. At one time or another virtually all of us have had episodes of just not seeming to get it right with our fellow humans. Yet, our connection with others is basic to our existence.

Why do we so often fill ourselves with anger and bitterness toward people, building walls around ourselves, when touching someone soul to soul can be one of the most beautiful and satisfying experiences available to us?

Charles Fillmore writes in the book Christian Healing, "There must be room to grow, and room is made by love. Selfishness is limitation; it binds man in a little prison called personality. The only way to enlarge one's character and give play to all the faculties is through love. Love enlarges the field of consciousness by leveling the thoughts of enmity and opposition. Make friends with all your adversaries quickly, whether they be persons, thoughts, or things."^a

Personal relationships are a major cause of unhappiness in people everywhere, and an avalanche of books, tapes, workshops, and television shows has been directed toward improving them. We are told that for every personality type there is a particular strategy which must be employed if we would have harmony. However, the harmony which these ideas would have us establish is not really harmony at all, not genuine harmony, that is. It is often more like one-upmanship, self-assertion, and saving face.

Trying to find successful ways of dealing with people according to their personality traits is futile and time-consuming, and it puts the emphasis on outer characteristics rather than where it belongs, which is on the inner. Imagine all of the time and mental effort we save when we don't have to figure out what words to say to appease someone or quench a fiery outburst or soften a hateful attitude. If we wanted to, we could let our entire lives be preoccupied with figuring out which words work best for which people. This works well for some people sometimes, but there is a much easier way to handle relationships and that is not to "handle" them at all.

LOOK FOR THE GOLDEN THREAD
Fillmore writes, "If God is the Father of all, then men and women are brothers and sisters in a universal family, and he who sees spiritually should open his heart and cultivate that inclusive love which God has given as the unifying element in the human family."^b

Since each of us is part of the One; there is an underlying sameness to us all. Although present situations, yours and others, may be filled with conflict, it is nevertheless natural to long for close contact with other humans. Parts of the One seek to connect with other parts of the One. Relationship problems can be merely a thin veneer which we use to cover a doubt or fear we have about ourselves.

There is a level in every human soul which knows no conflict, competition, or contempt, a level which knows only peace, harmony, and love. In fact, it is peace and harmony and love, because it is the Christ essence of us. It is our innate divinity, and on that level, there is no distinction between you and every other individual. It is one unbroken and unbreakable golden thread stitching all of us together. If we will allow ourselves to search for it, every one of us can find that golden link to all humanity. We can find it in ourselves, and we can find it in others.

In Talks on Truth, Charles Fillmore writes, "God's thought is love, the inherent potentiality of the God man, which knows neither persons nor things, mine or thine, but a universal brotherhood in which perfect equity and justice reign in joint supremacy."^c

GETTING IT RIGHT
Is there a relationship which has you upset or frustrated or depressed? It doesn't matter if it's with a spouse, a child, an acquaintance, a relative, or a friend. If you want it to improve, the method is the same: lift yourself up in consciousness. Lift yourself out of any negative emotions and reactions and become aware of the presence of God within you. It is as simple as that! The reason it always works is because when you feel this Presence, it will automatically be communicated from that level in you to the same Presence in the other person.

Your awareness of the Christ presence in you will cut through all of the hurts and angers and fears which have built up in this relationship, and you will focus directly on the divine Presence in that person. In other words, you will be dealing directly from Christ to Christ.

Relating to others this way has an amazing and often immediate effect. Years and years of unforgiveness and hardened attitudes can break up and dissolve in a matter of minutes!

Dropping all the superficial adornments and focusing directly on the Christ is a wonder-worker for any relationship. It has to be. Why? Because the Christ operates only with love - knows only love and therefore sees only love.

Every human heart yearns for love and responds to love. That's the way we are made. Some people do a good job of hiding that craving from others and even from themselves, but the Christ love, sincerely radiated, eventually proves irresistible. Barriers come down, fences fall, and walls crumble in the face of the Christ. No one is exempt because the Christ is all-inclusive.

Our human relationships are meant to be light and joy-filled, for it is in the connecting with others that we most easily discern the Christ. It is in the looking deeply into the eyes of a fellow being that we see the Christ. That precious moment brings a sweet exhilaration to which few things can compare.

WE ARE EACH OTHER
In the space-time continuum, the normal "worldly" dimension, society teaches us to differentiate ourselves from others, to look for and to accentuate the differences between us. The news media make a living by doing so. However, in the spiritual dimension, we realize our oneness with others. Operating from the space-time continuum, it is too easy to see others as different from us, to see boundaries, to be exclusive. Operating from our spiritual center, however, is to see others as part of ourselves, to see no boundaries, to be inclusive.

Scientifically, we know that the molecules of our bodies are in a continual process of exchanging themselves with molecules of other bodies. Each time we inhale, we are breathing in new molecules which were once part of countless other people. Each time we exhale, we are releasing molecules which had taken up temporary residence in us, sending them forth to be part of others' bodies. It is a constant exchange, and it shows how, on a physical level, we are part of all creation. (Although not a provable fact, according to many reputable scientists, it is highly likely that because of the incredible number of molecules in one human breath, there are molecules in each living person that were once a part of Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, and, yes, Jesus Christ!)

On the spiritual level as well, we are linked to one another. In light of this, the answer to Cain's "Am I my brother's keeper?"^d becomes not "I am my brother's keeper" but "I am my brother," for we are all one.

GO DIRECT
Do you want a better relationship with your mate? Are you hoping for more harmony between you and your child? Do you wish there were better understanding between you and your parents? Do you long for a new, more intimate relationship with a friend?

Put the relationship on a Christ-to-Christ basis. Cut right through the outer façade. Put aside your old hurts and attitudes, never mind your feelings of embarrassment or fear or timidness. Don't let these kinds of emotions dictate what your relationships will be. There is too much at stake to allow yourself to be a victim of old ways of thinking, of old habits.

We read in Mysteries of John by Charles Fillmore, "The Christ is the perfect God idea, which is ever in touch with its source. The Christ therefore realizes always that it can of itself do nothing and places all judgment in the law. The laws of God are unchangeable. Man, neither makes nor creates anything of permanence; he discerns what God has created and conforms to it in thought and act. Judgment, when expressed on the mortal plane of consciousness, often is the expression of a critical and backbiting disposition. Man's safety lies in recognizing his need and balancing his judgment faculty with love. Then there will spring forth a new conquering power, which will express itself in righteousness and justice without condemnation."^e

Make contact Christ to Christ. Pray to God for understanding, so that you can put yourself "in the other person's shoes" and have a realization of why he or she is really acting in this manner.

But most importantly, nothing can match your being centered in the Christ light and looking lovingly into a person's eyes, speaking lovingly and warmly, validating his or her hurt or anger or fear. By allowing yourself to show your Christ identity, you will plainly see the Christ in the other person who will then be able to see it much more clearly in himself or herself.

What words should you use? There is no need to be concerned with that because the Christ within you knows exactly what to say - always. That is why things become so infinitely easier when we deal on the Christ level.

Trust the Spirit within, within you and within other people. When you do, relationship "problems" will be a thing of the past. Like smoldering campfires no longer capable of casting light, you can unburden yourself of them and leave them below in the valley.

So remember first that trying to deal with people on the personality level is futile and time-consuming.

Second, know that it is natural for us to long for close contact with other humans.

Third, there is a level in every human soul which knows no conflict, competition, or contempt; it is the level of the Christ.

Fourth, to heal any relationship, cut through all of the hurts and angers and fears and go directly to the Christ level of that person.

And fifth, when we are in contact with our spiritual dimension, we realize our oneness with others. There is no need to be concerned with choosing words, because the Christ always knows exactly what to say.

Christ of my being, I acknowledge Your presence within me, and I allow You to harmonize all of my relationships. Help me to see the Christ in all others and to know that I am truly one with them and they are one with me.

Amen.